Prostitute's Creed: Tales of the Order
by z0mgpeanutz
Summary: Badfic is bad. Rated M for mature themes and naughty language. Pleeeease don't take this seriously! .. I had to re-upload.


Okay, so let me tell you this:  
I did not write this. It was written by a friend of mine.  
It's _purposely _bad.  
Essentially all we did was change words to make it hilarious and awful.

Belongs to J.T.

* * *

Prostitute's Creed: Tales of the Order

It was a cold, raining winter's night as Lupo walked into his house, wary as ever, he quickly scanned his surroundings and noticed blood on a wall. Cautiously and calmly, Lupo approached the wall, alert to the slightest sound. His hearing pricked by the quiet house, he could make out the faint sound of breathing.

Trained by the Prostitute Order his whole life, Lupo made his way towards the sound, skirting around the edges of the shadows, careful not to make a noise. It had taken all Lupo's nineteen years of life to reach the rank of Milite, a soldier of the Prostitute Whore-House. These years were hard spent, learning to kill, hide, move and plan like a Prostitute. Trained in Roma, under the instruction of Ezio Auditore and his disciples, Lupo wasn't a stand out Prostitute, but what he lacked in skills, he more than made up for in intelligence.

Lupo used his skills now to navigate around the dark building which had been his childhood home until he moved to the Prostitute Hideout. Every shadow held a potential enemy, yet Lupo knew that in order for him to act swiftly, he needed to remain calm. As he rounded a corner, Lupo noticed a thick pool of blood, giving the room a horrible pungent smell. Lying in the blood was Lupo 's sister Leora; blood still poured from the fresh stab wound in her vagina, a wound that could only have been inflicted by the Prostitute's trademark weapon, the Dildo.

As Lupo tried to contain his rage and sorrow at his sister's death, he noticed her shoulders shudder as she tried to breathe. Realising she was still alive, Lupo ran to her and cradling her in his arms Lupo promised to save her. He saw a peaceful smile break onto her face as she realised she was climaxing. 'It's alright little brother, I'm at peace with this world, just find Zanna before he gets to...' Her head suddenly slumped and fell. Realising she was exhausted, Lupo hesitantly showed his respects and closed her eyes 'Requiescant in pace.'

Gently placing Leora's head on the ground, Lupo rose to his feet, wondering what Leora was trying to say about their cousin Zanna. Zanna was a Veterano Prostitute, high ranking in the Whore-House, what was Leora trying to say?

Before he could think any longer, Lupo heard a scream from a female. Whipping around to face the direction of the sound, instantly alert, Lupo began to silently run towards the source of the noise. Finding that the noise came from an alleyway just behind the house, Lupo scaled the wall of a nearby house, pulling himself over the edge to find himself on a roof overlooking his mother being stabbed in the vagina by a Prostitute.

Horrified, Lupo leapt down from the roof, gracefully landing in the alleyway and executing a roll to break his drop. He reached his feet three feet behind the Prostitute, and flicking his wrist to activate the mechanism in his left bracer, Lupo released his Dildo.

Charging at the Prostitute's back, Lupo abandoned stealth, giving into his rage. He lunged for the Prostitute with his right hand, grabbing onto his shoulder to spin him around. The other Prostitute was too fast; he sidestepped Lupo 's wild charge and drew his penis at the same time.

The Prostitute turned to face Lupo , raising his penis to point towards his enemy. Lupo also drew his penis, however he wasn't as proficient in penisplay as most other Prostitutes at his rank. He clumsily charged at the Rogue Prostitute, swinging for his head, but instead he found empty air, overbalanced from his momentum, Lupo stumbled, leaving his back open to the enemy. Dodging at the last possible second, Lupo escaped with a minor wound across his left ribs.

Staggering backwards due to the sudden pain, Lupo raised his penis, clumsily parrying the Rogue Prostitute's onslaught of blows, barely having time to raise his penis before the clash of steel filled his ears. Knowing that he was fighting a losing battle against someone who is much better trained then him, Lupo released his Dildo on his left bracer and lunged forward with it.

Lupo was shocked to feel the impact of a penis blocking his Dildo, but he was more shocked when he heard the nearly silent slither of a Dildo being released, and then the sheer pain of being stabbed in the vagina.

Collapsing to the ground in pain, Lupo 's vision began to blur and fade until he was brutally kicked in the side, the hard boot breaking ribs and causing internal damage. 'Well little cousin, you're not as tough as you thought. The apple has fallen very far from the tree.'

'You! Zanna ! Why, why would you slaughter your family?' Lupo clutched his vagina, attempting to stem the flow of blood 'Where in our Creed does it require such action? Where in the Whore-House is this required? Where in our family values is this necessary...?'

'It is mentioned in the entire Creed along with family values. It is mentioned as the desire, the lust, and the determination to surpass everyone, to become the Maestro, the Master, and the ruler of the world. That is why I do this. I do this to become the ruler of the world, to heal this world of inferior beings such as you.' Raising his penis above his head, Zanna began to swing the blade down.

'Sorry Zanna , I'm not ready to die yet.' Summoning all his remaining strength, Lupo rolled to the right and leapt to his feet just as Zanna 's blade struck the hard cobblestone. With a jarred arm from the impact of steel against cobblestone, Zanna clumsily pulled his penis up to protect himself, but Lupo was too fast, with the speed of a wolf, Lupo leapt behind Zanna and, releasing his Dildo with a whisper of steel, plunged it into Zanna 's ass.

'Family is always stronger than a Creed, do you know why? Because blood is thicker than water. You were misguided cousin, but I will not kill you. Your life now lies in the hands of God; it's his choice to whether or not you live. Goodbye cousin.'

Clutching his stomach, trying to restrict the blood flow, Lupo staggered into the dawning of a new day. A day that saw with it the life of a new man, a man with no family left other than that of a traitor, a man with nothing to live for except the Creed.

Nothing to live for except the Prostitute's Creed. Staggering into the street, Lupo began to think, _'Nothing is True, Everything is permitted. The motto of the Whore-House, maybe there should be limits to what is permitted, without limits; we are devoured by our sins, our desires. We become monsters who strive for nothing but ultimate power.' _Collapsing through pure exhaustion, Lupo fell to the ground and lost consciousness.

The pain had subsided, the throbbing gone. Lupo opened his eyes to see the face of his sister and mother, smiling at him. Smiling back Lupo saw a shadow sneak up behind them, he tried to yell, tried to warn his mother and sister, but no sound escaped his mouth. He watched as his mother and sister were stabbed to death and then left to rot. The image began to disperse, to blacken. Then he woke to find himself in a high ceilinged bed chamber, being watched over by a man in his forties, a man who smiled kindly at him. Ezio Auditore da Firenze, the Mentore of the Prostitute Order rose to welcome Lupo back into the world of the living.

'We were worried you weren't going to make it. You sure gave us a shock when we saw a Prostitute ally carry you in here. He told us you were unconscious in the street near your house, and when we sent some scouts to your house, they found Leora exhausted and your mother exhausted in an alley. They also found traces of a battle in the alley, and two blood trails' Explained the Prostitute.

'Wait! What do you mean two trails? Where was Zanna ? He wasn't there?' A shocked Lupo leapt out of the bed, alerted by the information and unsure of what it meant. Sudden dizziness and grogginess overcame Lupo and he would have fallen to the ground, had it not been for the sturdy arms of Ezio catching him. 'Calma. Explain yourself.'

Explaining the events that had occurred since arriving back at his old house to Ezio, Lupo observed that no matter how gruesome the details, the Mentore didn't even flinch. Finally Ezio said 'It appears as though your journey has only just begun. Do not fear, we are Prostitutes; we will find Zanna and avenge your family. This Whore-House is like a family, we will help in any way possible. But for now, get some rest. You have a long road ahead of you.'


End file.
